


Watership Plushie

by MemoryDragon



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1804738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tony," Pepper said, her voice ringing clearly through the lab despite the fact that it was coming through Steve’s cell phone.  </p><p>Tony shot Steve a betrayed look, who just looked a little sheepish in response.  ”Little busy here, Pep.”</p><p>"Tony, when were you going to tell me that the giant stuffed rabbit you got me for Christmas took over Latveria?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watership Plushie

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Плюшевый генерал с Корабельного холма](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072875) by [Ferzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferzy/pseuds/Ferzy)



> **Disclaimer:** I do not own the Avengers movie-verse, nor do I make any claim to.  
>  **Warnings:** Crack. Don't say I didn't warn you.  
>  **Notes:** So I occasionally browse the imagineyouricon thing for tumblr, where I saw this one:
> 
> "Imagine your icon as a powerful political leader taking over/making a small country over which they will rule."
> 
> In case you were wondering, my icon on tumblr is the giant stuffed rabbit that Tony got Pepper for Christmas. Which caused this ficlet to happen. It's short, but it's been far too long since I wrote pure crack. For the purposes of this fic, assume the giant rabbit plushie survived the wrecking of Tony's Malibu home and is currently residing in Stark Tower.
> 
> This is not betaed, so any mistakes are my own.

"Tony," Pepper said, her voice ringing clearly through the lab despite the fact that it was coming through Steve’s cell phone. 

Tony shot Steve a betrayed look, who just looked a little sheepish in response. ”Little busy here, Pep.”

"Tony, when were you going to tell me that the giant stuffed rabbit you got me for Christmas took over Latveria?"

"Working on it, Honeybee," Tony said absently, typing furiously into the keyboard.

“ _What do you mean you’re working on it_?” Pepper asked, her voice more than a little shrill. Had he done something to upset her?

"He’s, ah, not trying to help it, Ma’am," Steve said, since he felt that should be clarified. 

Pepper sighed. Tony knew that sigh. It usually meant she was rubbing her temples. He'd done something to upset her. ”Just tell me how this happened.”

"Fuck if I know," Tony said, and wasn't that the story of his life? He frowned at the line of code. Latveria's defenses weren't anything to laugh at. 

Steve, bless him, stepped in before Pepper could find a way to strangle Tony through the phone. ”We’re trying to hack Latveria's satellites now to see what happened. We’ll let you know when we do.”

"Make it sooner," Pepper said, her voice tight with what Tony knew was barely concealed fear. He looked up sharply from the code. He hadn't done something wrong. Well, he had, obviously, but he wasn't the reason Pepper was upset and that meant someone else was. And that someone else better be ready to deal with a group of super heroes.

Steve sensed it too, though he didn't know her well enough to know what tripped him off. ”Is something wrong?”

"No, nothing’s wrong. There’s just an army of Doombots amassing outside your Tower threatening to destroy it if we don’t send out the rabbit’s head within the hour."

"Oh," Tony said. Well, there were worse things that could happen. He could deal with that. "Why is it _my_ Tower only when there’s an army of Doombots? I thought it was both of ours?”

“ _Tony_ ,” Pepper said, a familiar exasperation taking over the tightly controlled panic in her voice. 

Steve, not understanding he’d just calmed Pepper down better than any reassurance would have, sent him a glare of disapproval. ”I’m sending Thor to you now, Ma’am. Natasha is already en route to your location now, and she’ll try to stall.”

"Are you sure you didn't put an AI into the rabbit, Tony?" Pepper asked. 

"Positive," Tony replied automatically. Then he thought about it. "Pretty sure, anyway. Don’t worry, Pep. We’ll figure it out." He cut the call with a sift tap. Then he turned off Steve’s phone and slid it to the other side of the table. Natasha and Thor would keep Pepper safe, and admittedly, Doom had an actual reason to be angry this time. "J, what’s it look like on your end?"

"I’m afraid I’m still unable to ascertain how a giant stuffed rabbit has managed to complete a successful coup d’état without moving, Sir," JARVIS said dryly. "Shall I look through other security footage or consider the Doombot army’s demands?"

"We’re not giving up General Woundwort until I've figured out what the hell actually happened,” Tony replied. 

* * *

Humans were very strange. 

Dummy sat in his charging station, wondering what all the fuss was about. Taking over Latveria had been way easier than trying to decide if his human wanted to be doused with the fire extinguisher or not, and it had only been natural to use the giant rabbit as a front when he discovered the people had a natural inclination to fear robots. All he’d needed was the phone Clint had dropped down in the workshop yesterday for internet access that he wasn't usually allowed to have and a photoshopped order from both Maria Hill and Tony Stark to some of the old displaced SHIELD agents.

Still, he enjoyed the mischief while it lasted. It wasn't often he got to be useful after all, and Clint was the one getting yelled at for once.

(It was only later, when JARVIS finished reviewing the security footage of the entire Tower, that Tony learned to never tell his bots ‘to go make yourself actually useful for once and take over Latveria or something,’ while he was in the middle of a breaking discovery.)

**Author's Note:**

> Mem: Well, there you have it. Crack. I'd apologize to the people who follow me for the long, plotty fics with feels and deep thoughts, but honestly, I've missed crack just a bit. You can find me and my icon on tumblr [here](http://memorydragon.tumblr.com/).


End file.
